My latest Huffington Post piece is Why I Did 7 Rounds of IVF, which was first posted on this blog. I reposted it in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week and this year’s theme, “You Are Not Alone.”
I want to add that while my story does have an against-all-odds happy ending, it’s not always that way for everyone going through infertility treatments. I’m not sharing my story simply to say, “Don’t give up!” because that can honestly be some of the worst advice to give to infertile couples. It’s OK to decide to move on to other options like third-party reproduction, adoption or living child-free. It’s not quitting and it doesn’t make you a loser. As I said in the HuffPo version of my piece, each of us has to make the right choice when faced with a very wrong situation. That choice isn’t going to be the same for everyone, and it shouldn’t be.
There is another post on HuffPo a couple down from mine in which a woman says how after three doctors told her she’d never conceive, she got pregnant on her own, twice, and now has two children. Maybe I’m super-jaded, but this kind of story just brings out my bitter side. How is this story supposed to help other infertiles – is it supposed to inspire them to keep trying when there is no hope? More likely it will make them feel bad because their situation didn’t work out the same. How is this story supposed to benefit those who are fertile trying to understand what it’s like to go through infertility – to make them feel better about everyone having a happy ending? Guess what – happy endings don’t always happen, and they often don’t happen the way you think they’re going to. We need real stories that show us the pain and heartbreak, the hard choices. Not the miraculous conceptions. This woman didn’t even go through fertility treatments. Sorry, but that’s just a completely different perspective – not that it’s not valid, but it is not reflective or representative of most fertility patients’. In my opinion, it’s not a useful story to help others understand infertility.
What do you think, fellow infertiles – do you agree?
For more about infertility, click here.
For more about National Infertility Awareness Week, click here.